Crazy how things just come together...

You know my hate for dancing? I was thinking last night, I wonder what it's origin is. Seriously. I don't think people are born just hating dancing. I did ballet for about 7 years, and really loved the first years. Toward the end I started to be aware that I just was not a prima ballerina. I began to compare my body to all the tiny girls around me. I began to get a complex about my muscular, "sporty" figure. I just was not super thin. Looking back though, I did not have the weight problem I thought I did. I tried out for The Nutcracker (I danced for Civic Dance Center) and did not make it. I later learned that I actually wouldn't have fit into the costume. In order to "make it" I would've needed to be either better for my height, or fit into a costume that was meant for girls much younger than me. Dang. Isn't it just like satan to turn a perfectly good "sport" into something that attacks my femininity, and my ability to unashamedly do ANY kind of dancing? Jason and I took salsa lessons a few years ago and I think that might be more up my ally- if I could get the hip swinging down anyway! My Mom gave me a book called When Wallflowers Dance, and funny enough, it's addressing the very heart I seem to have. God just might have a purpose for this dancing theme! I'd love to celebrate by dancing someday, and not be ashamed of myself.

Speaking of celebrating, as I left the hospital on Tuesday I was thinking a lot on the way home about the celebration that day was- the tumor removed, the majority of the cancer, GONE. Celebration, yet so much pain until recovery. The two can exist together though- in fact, it seems they must. Jason and I have begun going to Celebrate Recovery through at our church, and last night- it happened again! I was taken to greater depths with God during worship just watching those just released from prison worship, those who are living at a "1/2 way house" GET IT. There are heads nodding all throughout the sermon. They get what the celebration is about. They've just overcome a gripping addiction. I have a lot to learn from these people.