"Where's your baby?" We often ask Kate before her nap and bedtimes. She sleeps with this special baby doll, but also carries her around all day. The baby has a rattle inside so I can hear Kate coming and going- I can hear if she's running or walking, all based on that little rattle.
Kate and that little baby are attached.
And today, of all days- the day I am losing my baby, she lost hers.
I'm sure the baby is around here somewhere- but I'm not sure we've ever gone a nap or bedtime without baby.
And so when nap time came, she cried at her bedroom door for her baby.
The baby has these tiny ribbon curls that Kate strokes as she's falling asleep. She just didn't know what to do without that baby.
And I searched. Everywhere. Frantically asked Christian if she could sleep with one of his monkeys instead (she didn't want any monkeys). Sat down, listened to her cry. Comforted her, changed her diaper, looked for baby. Put her back down without baby. This whole routine went on for a good while. Each time me searching in more bizarre places. With the tupperware. WIth the dvds, under our bed.
I even mentally pictured us going out to get her a new one after nap.
"The Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show compassion." Isaiah 30:18
Thankful today that I serve a God of compassion, who I know is heartbroken with me over losing my baby.
5 comments:
You're so right Megan. The sadness you feel over Kate's missing baby is really just a small picture of how our Heavenly Father longs to comfort you over this loss. {{{{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}
oh, making me cry over here. beautiful post. you amaze me with your grace and poise in a difficult situation. you are shining so brightly for Christ right now.
hugs.
I'm just now catching up on your blogs from the past few days, and this one-- oh THIS one. Totally brought me to tears, not just because my heart breaks for you (it does), but also because this was just so beautiful. And I couldn't help but think how providential it was that the Lord allowed Kate to lose her baby doll today, even though I know it made things difficult and it was sad for her, so that you could think on and be reminded of just this truth about our God in such a poignant way. I do so hope Kate gets her baby back soon, and I continue to pray for you so much as you mourn the loss of your precious one.
like Davi said, you are shining so brightly for Christ in all of this. you astound me, and I know He will keep you shining.
but oh, I am sorry, friend. words are never enough. :(
love.
This just breaks my heart!
Our whole family mourns this loss ... each of us according to our own understanding ... we all come around you Megan, you are not alone, your family loves you and we cry together.
I love you Babe.
Post a Comment